Assalamualaikum wbt dearies!

Notice any changes in the blog? Hahaha *awkward laugh* I decided to make a few changes towards my blog, which includes changing the blog header, background and widgets. The biggest change in my blog, if you realized, is deleting my old blog posts. I left only three (scroll down to read), in which in my opinion have the most views out of the rest of the others. Why, you ask? I wrote frequently about the details of my life, and I know others enjoy reading them. All in all, I have almost 300+ blog posts only about myself

Highlight, myself.

I wrote mostly about what I ate, what I bought, what I did, what I wore yadayadayada all about myself. Add in promoting some product, describing expensive branded apparels that I got, and putting up photos of cuisines I ate or drank in lavish places...a typical blogger. 

And for what?

These are all worldly possessions. Worldly desires. Worldly ideals. I read every single blog posts I had back then, and I cringed. I cringed at the photos, I cringed at the way I write. All these years I've been addicted to updating about myself to others in the internet, in every single social site that I have. I have followers, some loyal readers which are my own friends. Through social sites, I made friends with people I never even met before..but closer than anyone I had around me. These are the only things I gained from social sites.

But, little that I know..I never considered I've been so focused on telling others how great my life is, but actually I'm still lacking at a factor. 
A very important factor.

Islam. My own religion.

"Sesungguhnya amal perbuatan itu disertai niat dan setiap orang mendapat balasan amal sesuai dengan niatnya. Barangsiapa yang berhijrah hanya kerana Allah dan Rasul-Nya, maka hijrahnya itu menujui Allah dan Rasul-Nya. Barangsiapa hijrahnya karena dunia yang ia harapkan atau karena wanita yang ingin ia nikahi, maka hijrahnya itu menuju yang ia inginkan."

(Hadis 1, Riwayat Bukhari & Muslim)

There's this term which is easily understood yet the most misunderstood term by mankind up till now: Niat. The purpose. The objective. Why you do things. For instance, why do you eat? Because you're hungry. Why do you drink? Because you're thirsty. Why do you sleep? Because you're tired. The list of questions are endless, yet the niat is the same..It's all about you. Of course. Why would you eat, why would you drink, why would you sleep for anyone else? Everybody else has their own things to do, their own problems to focus on..to be bothered by the likes of you.

But Allah swt is bothered. He is bothered about you 24/7 until the moment you die. Heck, He is still bothered even after you're dead up till the moment you enter Syuurga (Heaven) or Neraka (Hell). Heck, He is still bothered even after you entered. And that's just ONE of you. There's like 7 billion humans on Earth, dated on 31st of October, 2011 at the moment. Wait, add in the previous humans which existed before you. Unthinkable.

And you're doing every single daily routine, for yourself. But there's a Being out there who thinks about you all the time. Not only you, but every single person who existed..be them living or dead.  Yet you can't even be bothered to give Him a single damn thought, since you're focused on updating about yourself to others with all those social sites, and catering to the worldly ideals.

"I didn't come to this blog to read about an Islamic lecture."

Neither do I plan to write anything like this in my blog. Up till a few weeks ago, I still scoffed to the thought of writing anything like this in my blog. I was still being me, right until this moment I'm typing out this. I'm still me. I still like discounts whenever Juicy Couture has one. I still need my monthly dose of Starbucks (though I'm slowing down, since watching the Gaza video attacks). I still listen to Skrillex.

I am still me.

Though after coming back from the Europe backpacking trip with the jaulah from Poland & Czech Republic, I sort of began to notice the lifestyle I've been living has many faults. Back then I usually thought,  "Why am I in Indonesia, doing dentistry?" or "What's the purpose of me in this world?" Now..I see how childish I was to think about those questions, even. It all comes back to the term 'niat'. I know now the answer to all the questions that was always raised in my mind. 

I'm in Indonesia doing dentistry to become a holistic dentist, to work my way to Allah swt by helping those in need of my services. A dentist? "It's not like you're saving lives or something." Ah, I'm not going to argue with you in this. First, I'll be saving lives as an oral surgeon. Secondly, it doesn't matter what others think of my career with their limited way of thinking. All I can think of is that if I could at least fix someone's teeth, and that will aid them in their duaa' to Allah swt, plus saying good things to others..that is enough for me. I'm doing this for Him. Every step I take in dentistry, Inshallah will bring me closer to Him.

What's the purpose of me in this world? 

I live to die as a true Muslim. Not just as a Muslim stated in my IC card. Not just as a stereotypical mind set by the norm 'Islam Kelas Kedua' (Second-class Muslim). I strive to be more than that.

Though people may question the niat I'm changing:

"You're changing for a man. That'll never last."
"This is just a phase. A temporary one, like always."

I need not prove to others my niat, since humans as I live through almost 21 years of life, will never be satisfied of their expectations and desires. Humans will always and always will be judgemental. This includes me as well. Its just human nature, no matter how much you try to claim that you're not. But you know who's never judgemental and who'll never put any expectations on you? Him. Allah swt.

Someone very dear to me told me,

"If you have talents in anything, apply it towards Islam. Towards Allah swt. You like drawing comics? Draw comics that remind us of Allah swt. You like blogging? Blog what reminds us of Allah swt."

It doesn't mean that the scopes of your talents will be limited once you have a niat to do all this for Allah swt. In fact, your chances of getting closer to Him will be much bigger. You'll be from expectations of others because your mind is just preoccupied with Him. You care less about what people think about you, because you start to care less about worldly ideals. 

Inshallah I will be blogging more about my dental studies, my travels and embracing Islam in the eyes of a young woman. I plan to focus less about myself and write more about those three things mentioned. For me, since life in Dunya is a travel anyway..I plan to travel a lot from now on. I want to see the world and experience myself places that so many others praise highly. For instance, I went to Rome, Italy last winter break. Others told me I was lucky to have the chance to visit Rome..but to tell you the truth? All I see is an overpriced city crowded with people and pickpockets, not to mention basilicas (churches) in every step and heavily over-advertised tourist attractions. 

That is what I'm supposed to be lucky about? 

I prefer the Isle of Capri.

But that, my friends, let's save that story up for later, shall we?

Gentle reminder to all before I end this blog post, set back your niat ;) 
Till then, jazakallah khayran for reading!

Aainaa Aqila K.

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Farisha Fadil said...

you dah takde twitter ke? btw love the new look on your blog :) love the change happening in your life too.. i hope hidayah will shine its way to me like it does to you :)

Mieza Everdeen said...

praying that Allah give the best of life to my angel Aainaa :)

Budak Kimchi said...

This post got me a little teary. And I instantly realized that I wrote things about myself for the past 2 years. Will change for good by baby steps. Thank you kak Aainaa for this wonderful post. And good luck for your future journey :)

MR toriQ said...

Alhamdulillah... =)

Sam said...

Semoga perubahan ini berkekalan sehingga akhir hayat aina,

Insha Allah setiap apa yang aina buat akan diberkati Allah,

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